A story about a coercive relationship

“ I have been with Maisie for a couple of years, and I love her. Things used to be really good but recently I am seeing less of my friends, they are not inviting me to parties and I only ever seem to go to parties with Maisie.  She would often  leave reminders on my phone,  take selfies with silly filters or leave me voice memos, I didn’t mind it was funny. 

I was upset I didn’t get invited to my friends party and he was upset that I didn’t go. I told him I would have gone if I was invited, and he said he sent me an invite via insta – when I checked it wasn’t there. I also knew it was Katy’s birthday we grew up together and she’s like a cousin to me. I went to send her a message and I didn’t have her on any social media – I asked her why she unfriended me and she said I had unfriended her. I got thinking about how come I wasn’t getting messages and so I changed the passcode on my phone, I think I suspected it was Maisie but didn’t want to start an argument by asking her. 

When I got out of the shower Maisie was holding my phone screaming that I was cheating on her as I had changed my passcode. Maisie had been unfriending girls I was friends with and deleting party invites.”

How Dean can get help

If you feel your partner is trying to control the things you do, the people you speak to or stop you from spending time with your friends or family. You perhaps need to consider if this relationship is healthy. An abusive relationship does not have to be physically abusive coercion is a form of abuse.

 A partner could be controlling you if they are:

  • obsessively texting, calling and emailing
  • isolating them from friends and family
  • always wanting to see and talk to them
  • stopping them from working or going to school/college/university
  • getting upset when they text or hang out with other people
  • accusing them of flirting or cheating all the time
  • pressuring them to do things they don’t want to do such as engaging in sexual activity before they’re ready, or share naked photos online
  • monitoring or controlling their social media accounts
  • tracking their location via GPS
  • rushing the relationship’s pace
  • saying things like “If you loved me you would…”

There is help available you could call Childline on 08001111 or sign up so you can chat online (9am-midnight)

Call the police on 999 in an emergency, if you cannot speak listen to the questions and tap or cough to answer. Press 55 to signal an emergency



Do you need help?

  • Humberside Police

    Humberside Police – If you have concerns about someone’s wellbeing, please report to the police on 101 or dial 999 if it’s an emergency.

  • ceop

    CEOP – If you’re worried about online abuse or the way someone has been communicating online, if you have been a victim or are worried this is happening to someone you know, this can be reported safely and securely to CEOP (Child Exploitation and Online Protection) through their experienced Child Protection Advisors.

  • Crimestoppers

    Crimestoppers – reports can be made anonymously to Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111.

  • Childline

    Childline – if you have any worries about a child or young person. Call free on 0800 1111, or have a 1-2-1 chat online or send an email via their website at www.childline.org.uk any time of the day or night.

  • NSPCC - 24/7

    NSPCC – 24/7 line for for adults and young people to express concerns they may have in relation to child sexual exploitation (CSE), 0800 389 1701
    NSPCC – 24/7 adult helpline covering all child protection issues, 0808 800 5000

  • Fearless.org

    Fearless.org – Fearless is a site where you can access non-judgemental information and advice about crime and criminality. What makes this site different is we also provide you with a safe place to give information to us about crime – 100% anonymously.

Or she can speak to a trusted adult such as a parent, grandparent, teacher, youth or social worker who can use this website to figure out how best to get help in this very dangerous situation.